liberating that which is within.

i can't help but notice that throughout the past few months a reoccuring theme has continued to pop up in reading, in conversation, in thoughts, in life. the idea of self-reflection. of knowing myself. of "setting myself free."of "liberating the leader within."

i will be the first to admit that although an open book, where if you ask me a question, i will be more than willing to share anything with you... i hold much back from myself. i guess i've always found that it's easier to hold things in and not "know" than to unravel moments which have stayed packed away for so long.

but the thing is, in order to be an effective (and truly great) leader, i must learn to acknowledge all of the layers of "me." i must delve into the places of self that scare me. the places that i erected "do not disturb" signs in front of years ago.

it is through looking back that i can then look forward. and i know this in my head... it is in my heart that i must trust this. in my heart where i must truly discover my motivations, my fears, my passions.

until i can do this, i will remain at a crossroads. a place where it is impossible to move forward completely. i may be able to put on the face of forward-movement... but that movement will be marked by a hesitance.

and so where do i go from here? to learn. to take it all in. "leadership development is self-development." and so i will incorporate that. but i must learn to look inside myself. must learn to not fear myself. i must allow for my inner self to be freed. must allow myself to be liberated.

a funny concept for a reflection about leadership, but i think it is exactly where my reflection must focus. on self. because in order to lead, the leader must know his or her passions. a leader must know his or her desires. a leader must know who it is that he or she is... before they can ask someone else to follow into the rising waters.

and so how then can i ask for someone to follow me if i have no grasp on myself?

i must realize my potential. realize that i am the leader i want to be. realize that i can make a difference. and i must invest in learning (about myself and about leadership). and so i strike out to begin this journey. and i will accomplish it because i believe that i can. there may be pitfalls along the way, but they will strengthen me. and i will rise up to "finish" the book, not just read it.